I am sorry that the job that I do takes me away from you. I am sorrier still that sometimes I do stupid things and maybe put myself at risk. More, I wonder at the guys who follow my direction. I wonder about their families. I worry that I will hurt them, or cause my guys to be hurtâ¦. Thank you for believing in me, my loveâ¦. I don't think that I could do this without that. Especially when things are hard and the decisions are unpopular. Especially when it is scary . âMay 7, 2006A week after she wrote these words to her husband, twenty-six-year-old Captain Nichola Goddard became the sixteenth Canadian soldier to die in Afghanistan. She also earned herself a spot in the history books: the first female Canadian soldier to die in combat.Goddard, say her friends and family, would have hated being singled out for her gender: she was as strong, as capable and as brave as any male in uniform. She was not just a soldier on equal footing with her fellow troops; she was a leaderâa "sunray," in military parlanceâin one of the most dangerous positions in the armed forces, a Forward Observation Officer with the artillery unit.In Sunray: The Death and Life of Captain Nichola Goddard , award-winning journalist Valerie Fortney examines how a woman raised by self-described "left-wing hippies" came to find herself fightingâand dyingâin Afghanistan. Based on in-depth interviews with Goddard's family, friends, and colleagues, as well as exclusive access to never-before-seen letters, Sunray tells the story of a remarkable 21 st -century soldier. It is an intriguing, heartbreaking, and ultimately inspiring look at the decision to serve, and at the costs.